Wellness Resources: Resilience

What is resilience?

woman smelling hydrangeas outside a flower shop

Resilience is the ability to bounce back after you experience adversity. While some people seem to be born more resilient than others, resilience is a learned skill that anyone can improve upon. Resilience is important for our personal wellbeing and overall happiness. More resilient people report feeling more satisfied with their lives, that they are more successful, and that they have more positive relationships.

Resilience is a key component of your overall wellbeing.

If you tend to struggle to recover after an unforeseen hardship, if you feel "stuck" after surviving a trauma, or if life seems to just keep serving you challenge after challenge, you may want to try working on building your resilience.

Resilience Theory

The five cornerstones of resilience are: mindfulness, persistence, optimism, self-compassion, and connectedness. These concepts are embedded in psychiatric research at institutions around the world, including UCLA.

Before digging deeper into each component below, this section contains links to working labs that explore the overall theory of resilience.

  • The U Penn PERMA Lab is regarded as the flagship institution exploring resilience through the theory of Positive Psychology. Dr. Seligman originally performed research on American soldiers with PTSD. Seligman's research showed that building soldiers' resilience skills not only allowed them to recover from trauma quicker, but prevented them from contracting PTSD from traumatic experiences in the first place.
  • The UW Resilience Lab offers several free resources to help work through trauma and guided practices covering the five cornerstones of resilience.
  • The UVA Student Flourishing website contains a wealth of information about the theories and practices of student wellbeing, as well as resources and tools for increasing resilience.
  • The Science of Resilience: How to Navigate Challenging Times (PDF)

Mindfulness

man meditating on the floor of his living room

Mindfulness is one of the building blocks of resilience.

A mindful person has a good sense of self-awareness (thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations) and is able to be present in the moment without overreacting to adversity.

Persistence

Persistence is a trait that allows a person to persevere through challenges toward a goal. Persistence doesn't mean that you don't fear failure, but rather you are courageous enough to accept that failure is a possibility and keep moving forward anyway.

One way to build persistence is to adopt a "growth mindset." People who have a growth mindset believe that they can develop their abilities and learn new skills in order to achieve their goals, rather than believing that they are born with certain innate talents and skills that they cannot change.

Building a sense of purpose is also important. Because building persistence requires having a goal, knowing your purpose gives you a foundation for setting those goals and planning toward them.

Autonomy is not a skill we as adults often consider the need to develop, but in reality, many of us did not develop a healthy sense of autonomy as children or had traumatic experiences in our lives that injured our sense of autonomy. In reference to persistence, autonomy means that you feel like you can face a challenge on your own, even if you are afraid. You are aware of your own strengths and you are willing to take risks in order to improve yourself. Developing autonomy as an adult may require professional help, but there are some ways you can practice in order to build that muscle.

Optimism

woman wearing a yellow sweater smiling at her desk

Optimism is not just about having a positive attitude. Optimism is a practice that requires you to recognize the good in your life, authentically take in those things, and express appreciation for them. People with high optimism are more likely to see life as a mostly positive journey and are less likely to become discouraged by minor inconveniences.

To start building optimism, you must learn to be thankful for what you have, rather than focusing on what you don't—stop comparing your insides to other people's outsides.

You can begin by prioritizing your relationships. Recognize how the people in your life contribute to your overall wellbeing in large and small ways. How does your monthly phone call with a trusted friend impact your confidence? How did it feel when a colleague brought you a coffee at work? What acts of kindness and connection are you sincerely grateful for, and how can you begin to take in the good more often?

Self-Compassion

Many of us know how to take care of others but struggle to give ourselves the same grace that we do our loved ones. Part of the reason is that in many cultures, we are taught that focusing on ourselves is selfish or cocky, while focusing on others is noble. Another reason is that our brains are wired to have a negativity bias. We recognize and feel negative emotions more intensely than positive ones. We are also more likely to hold onto criticism than praise.

Self-talk

When turned inward, this negativity bias can take the form of negative self-talk, which can be especially damaging to our self-esteem. Consider for a moment how many times you have said something about yourself like, "why do I always do this?" "I suck" or "I'm such an idiot"? Now, how many times do you recall saying things like "I'm really proud of myself,"  "I'm great at my job,"  or "I deserve this"? We tend to recognize and scold ourselves for what we do wrong much more often than applaud our successes.

Having self-compassion starts with paying attention to how we treat ourselves.

As an exercise, take one day and try to count how many times you say something to shame yourself. The next day, when you notice that negative self-talk, try to replace the criticism with something affirming. This doesn't mean you need to be disingenuous about it. Even the change from saying "I'm so stupid" to "oops, I made a mistake" is a positive shift.

Self-care

Having self-compassion also means taking care of yourself (mind, body, emotions). It's easy to say that we are busy, or that we are too overwhelmed by taking care of others, but there are ways that each of us can adopt healthier habits.

If you were responsible for raising a child, would you feed that child the same foods you eat? Would you limit their screen time and make sure they had a consistent bed time? Would you apply sunscreen when they went outside, but not to yourself? Would you console them when they cried but shove your own emotions down? If you are treating yourself differently than you would a loved one, why? What is one thing you can change to be more compassionate toward yourself?

Self-awareness

It's hard to have self-compassion when you don't know yourself well. What are your values? What are your strengths of character? What are your triggers and pet peeves?

The next step to self-awareness is valuing yourself. This means making positive choices and cultivating quality relationships. When you know what you want, it is easier to see how your choices dictate the trajectory of your life.

If you want to break negative cycles and experience more fulfillment, you might need to consider some of the ways you invite the same kinds of people into your orbit, how you use negative habits or coping mechanisms to avoid taking risks, or how fear of the unknown might be keeping you from changing. Taking care of yourself means having an honest conversation about how you may be holding yourself back.

Belonging & Connectedness

two women giving each other a high five

"Belonging means more than just being seen. Belonging entails having a meaningful voice and the opportunity to participate in the design of social and cultural structures...Belonging is more than just feeling included... Belongingness entails an unwavering commitment to not simply tolerating and respecting difference but to ensuring that all people are welcome and feel that they belong in the society."
John A Powell - Othering & Belonging Institute, UC Berkeley

Building connections and feeling that you belong are key to remaining successful in school. We are more likely to do well in an environment where we feel like our opinions matter and our lived experiences are valued.

It's hard to feel like you belong when you don't see others like yourself in the same space. One way to start building connections is to seek out affinity and identity groups—places where you can bring your full, authentic self to the table.

UCLA Extension doesn't have traditional student clubs or organizations, but Los Angeles is full of opportunities to find places where you fit in. Your classmates are also a built-in affinity group; you all have a common interest and likely have a good rapport. Start a study group or a group text chat so you can get to know if there are other things you might have in common.

Another way to feel like you fit in is to participate! Get involved on campus and out in your community by volunteering.

There are tons of opportunities to give back in a way that engages your personal interests. Love the environment? Join a garbage cleanup day at the beach. Enjoy making art? Help restore murals. Are you an educator? Volunteer to be a classroom aide at an elementary school. Doing something positive for someone else has been shown to boost your own self-esteem, confidence, and sense of connection.

Resilience Self-Assessment Tool

The below tools help you measure your resilience. Remember that resilience is a skill that changes over time. These tools offer you a snapshot of where you are in this moment in time. Both tools require you to register but are completely anonymous and do not track your personal data.

If you'd like to speak to a wellness advisor at UCLA Extension who will help you find the appropriate support, email us at CSR@uclaextension.edu.

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